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    Rules for dating men with children

    A new, successful relationship is also (hopefully) a great example of a healthy relationship, replacing earlier examples of failure.

    There is no predetermined time to wait before dating, says Dr. Basically, the time is right when you’re ready to trust someone new.

    “Adolescents are watching and they’re going to model you. Karen Buscemi and her ex-husband Andrew discuss and dole out punishments for their son, who spends equal time in both houses. “In our houses, parents take the main role; steps (don’t) execute punishments,” says Buscemi, the Rochester Hills author of . In six years of being together, she has never disciplined partner Anne Adelson’s sons.

    “I decided early on not to confront Annie’s children with any issues I might have with them,” says Slotkin, a Bloomfield Hills resident.

    “People disengage or emotionally separate at different points,” she says.

    Especially with teens, while they hear what you say, they are more likely to do what you do, says Dr. Both agree that the significant-other-sleepover is a values call – and both hesitate to give the green light from a clinical perspective before there’s a ring on your finger. Reserve sleepovers for nights when the kids stay with the other parent.

    “Take each child’s temperament into consideration and developmental age,” says Spector.

    “Be concrete with little ones, abstract with teens and pre-teens.

    “You can love your father or mother and also care about a new person.

    It’s not wrong.” And it’s OK when children become attached to a significant other – if the relationship is serious, say Spector and Dr. “The other person can be an excellent role model,” says Spector.

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